How to deal with whining children?

In spring 2018, perhaps Little Prince knew that I love him very much that I won’t have the heart to beat him, he started to whine and argue with me over some of my directions for him.

While I have to deal with backstabbers and uncooperative colleagues, I also have to deal with a little whiner – in his Italian accent (I don’t know where he picked it up)- at home. Whining can drive any parent crazy. My mother shared that I was a very easy child, I didn’t complain and can self-entertain myself. In contrast, Honey Panda is still often complaining about many things in life, though he works on the solution too.

I pray and hope that Little Prince will evolve into a better human being. Apart from this, I am thankful that Little Prince has a lot of plus points, that make him likable by little girls and their parents.

To deal with whiners:

  1. keep calm
    1. How? by nurturing our inner strength
    2. transfer our calmness to our little ones by holding (hugging) them if I feel that it’s a genuine cry of help
    3. refuse to let whining bother me and just keep my facial expression neutral; “If you can’t stand whining, your child will do it even more, simply because it gets a reaction
  2. learn to understand people
    1. whiners may feel helpless and overwhelmed, their standard is perfection [1].
    2. children whine when they’re overwhelmed.
  3. neither agree nor disagree with whiners
    1. agreeing with whiners will just encourage them to keep on complaining.
    2. disagreeing with whiners will make them feel compelled to repeat their problems.
  4. teach our children to distinguish between whiny and pleasant voices, so they can learn to use the latter.
    1. record both her whiny and pleasant voices and then play them back for her.
  5. ask them how questions; don’t ask them why they are complaining as this will invite them to start all over from the beginning.
    1. ask them how the can solve their problems (focus on solutions not problems).
    2. team up with whiners to form a problem-solving alliance.

***

[1] Yes, I have observed that as of 20180501, Little Prince can be pretty perfectionist.

 

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