How to use Facebook?

After I finished washing grapes (with a mixture of balsamic vinegar as we were running out of white vinegar) at ~12.30 am of 20180411, I suddenly missed and became curious of a friend so I checked the Facebook, then another friend and so on. In the end, I slept at 2 am plus but had to wake up at 5.30 am to prepare a rice sushi for the lunch box of Little Prince.

When I started using Facebook not too long after I completed my undergraduate more than a decade ago, I was very excited as it allowed me to keep in touch with friends whom I made in Vancouver and have never met again face to face until now (20180411).

I think, I experienced the largest increment of Facebook friends, during my graduate school days. I cherish people. I added people after I met them (even just once) in an event (e.g. seminars, formal hall dinners, church events, etc).

Facebook has brought the following benefits:

  • I learned about a youth program in which one had to pay only USD 100 and for the air ticket, to enjoy a lifetime of experience and form friendships with friends from all around the world while staying in interesting accommodation (including the legendary Beijing Hotel near Wangfujing) and dining delicious food. Both my sister and I were selected for the program.
  • I learned about few study/research tools (one of them has been very useful) through a friend who is associated with University of Warwick.
  • I learned about fascinating destinations that I enviously wanted to go and I have visited some of them. Yes, travel!
  • I appreciate good recommendations about
    • books
      • Genius Foods by Max Lugavere via an entrepreneur who graduated with BA in medicine from my graduate almamater
    • movies
    • TED talks
      • the 2nd TED talk that Little Prince watched (while we were staying at a Novotel Hotel) was about never give up.
    • dining venues
  • I have kept in touch with more people than what an introvert like me would imagine, albeit superficially, it’s better than none at all.

However, I observed that Facebook also took my time away from creating, hence I did fasting from Facebook. In my audio notes, that I sometimes play in the presence of Little Prince, I remind myself not to use Facebook so I could focus on what matter. He seems to get the message and funnily complained when he saw a Facebook page on my laptop a week before his Summer Term in 2018! Normally, it’s they other way round. Thank you Little Prince for the role reversal.

In addition, Facebook addition is similar to substance abuse and gambling addictions in certain ways on the brain.

How to use Facebook wisely?

  1. limit our exposure to social media (including Facebook) by logging out or deactivating our accounts
  2. stick to our aims when we use social media e.g. to find the answers to a particular problem, instead of being distracted.
  3. positively change our Facebook environment
    1. make a list of people we care of (it can be our offline list, Facebook does not have to know the list) and check only the pages of these friends when we log in to Facebook to minimize distractions.
    2. e.g. ref2018*/facebook_checklist*.txt
  4. learn how to deal with envy as Facebook can also exacerbate envy.
    1. remember that the images from others’ lives were carefully curated
    2. do not fall into the trap of negative self-comparison
    3. For the sake of Little Prince and Little Princess, I must remember that social comparison is generally most potent for the young and guide them how to positively compare so e.g. they will be inspired to try harder and smarter after an upward comparison.
  5. expect neither like nor comment to be free from the need of social validation



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