How to prevent being a scapegoat?

Scapegoating is a lie designed to elevate the status of abusive scapegoaters while keeping the scapegoats down at the same time.

We need to proactively prevent ourselves from ending up as a scapegoat. I was first reminded to share this message to the little ones through a song [1].

***

Build our inner strengths.
Our self-talk can be affected by others and if one is often marked as a scapegoat, his self-talk may be belittling and unhelpful.
To build our inner strengths, we need to focus on our positive attributes (e.g. compassionate, great listener).

***

Distance ourselves from abusive scapegoaters. Scapegoaters may include relatives [2], friends, and colleagues.

***

Only tell your own truths and choose the truths you tell.
Be diplomatic.

***

[1] 20160720 night: Little Prince watched Baa Baa Black Sheep.

[2] On 20170614, I overheard how the sister of Little Prince’s father (M) accused Little Prince of hitting Little Princess’ hand. Then, Little Prince received a scolding from Granny A. M proudly said, “luckily, I saw it (Little Prince hitting Little Princess)!”

Later, I tried to understand the situation with empathy. It turned out that Little Prince just wanted to pass Little Princess a ball to play for. A kind intention, perhaps with the lack of complete gentleness expected from adults, was misinterpreted as a malicious intention (usually by people who harbor malicious intention herself).

I explained to Little Prince so that he will not end up feeling as a victim of scapegoating, and more importantly he develops an accurate perspective.

Such a dividing behavior exhibited by grown-ups was not the first time that I encountered in life.

Little Prince once said that he was happier when M was not around, so am I. Hopefully, we will have less interactions with M and people like her (scapegoaters often have inflexible personality problems). She had have given us many hard times, from her greed of wanting of Little Prince’s father’s share of things to controlling our wedding (thankfully, the priest interfered and sided with us).

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