How to be likeable?

It’s human nature to be likeable. People, from as young as toddlers, have done all sorts of things to be likable. I’m inspired by both the Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) and our Little Prince. The latter, though straightforwardly criticized honey panda for his naughty behavior, still said "but I like you." Adorable!

We love to learn from charming people who make others feel important.

To be genuinely likeable in the long run,

  1. build + maintain great relationships
  2. be thoughtful;
  3. give before we receive, sometimes we never receive from some people we give, but the Universe will give us greater/better things in unexpected ways. Do not expect gratitude, but simply be grateful for the opportunity to give.
  4. listen >, talk <; give the gift of your full attention. That’s a gift few people give. That gift alone will make others want to be around you and remember you. Don’t check your phone. Don’t glance at your monitor.
  5. Practice reflective listening with empathy. "Remarkably charismatic people listen closely to everyone, and they make all of us, regardless of our position or social status or "level," feel like we have something in common with them."
  6. don’t offer advice unless you’re asked, because "when you offer advice, in most cases, you make the conversation about you".
  7. be a +ve influencer, consistently influence (in a good way) the people around them
  8. choose our words carefully because words can be swords. For example, "you don’t have to go to a meeting; you get to go meet with other people. You don’t have to create a presentation for a new client; you get to share cool stuff with other people. You don’t have to go to the gym; you get to work out and improve your health and fitness. You don’t have to interview job candidates; you get to select a great person to join your team."
  9. consistently make people feel important/better about themselves, only then we can learn from them. 孔子有云:“三人行,必有我师焉。”
  10. ask questions, caring but non-inquisitive/interrogative questions. Ask a question that shows you truly value the other person’s expertise or knowledge.
  11. respond--not so much verbally, but nonverbally. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Frown. Nod or tilt our head slightly downward (a sign of respect in every culture).
  12. praise others (only in very appropriate situations), express our gratitude + appreciation because no one receives enough praise.
  13. don’t complain, don’t criticize, don’t gossip. Never laugh at other people.
  14. be humble, readily admit our own mistakes/failings, be the cautionary tale.

Good luck!

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3 comments

  1. […] As a mother of a young man, I would like to know what qualities that women are looking for in Asian guys, given that women are increasingly educated, well-informed and having higher expectations. Sadly, the maternal uncle of our little prince, who is single, tall, and just completed his study in a top university with an acceleration to reduce his tuition debt, shared that girls and women nowadays are looking for (materially) rich men, much more than charming people with a great personality. Since external wealth can be taken away or lost in a blink of eyes through natural/man-made disasters, I still think that it is important to be likable due to our own intrinsic factors. How to be likeable? […]

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  2. […] and persuasive Communication: be likable, be thick face to get what really matters done (i.e. put my ego aside, how to negotiate in business […]

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  3. […] can nurture us into a better (kinder, smarter, more likable) person […]

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