How to accept the need of begging?

Today (20150909), I sent an email begging for a deadline extension (read: kindness) from someone whom I have never met in person. In fact, I have sent a lot of “please” emails or made similar phone calls to several people, because they fail to response responsibly and on time. In life and work, there are always things that are beyond our control.

A good reminder is the serenity prayer, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Sometimes, I feel the resistance. I do not like to beg, we know that beggars are exploiting the kindness of others. Even more sadly, some people are professional beggars or the managers of professional beggars.

Sometimes, I do not have choice, I have to request / beg so to make things progress. Once, I muster all my courage to see a high-rank woman and she gave me a very cold response. I cried after the meeting. In later years, I heard a nice acquaintance (Z) said she is not a nice person, but I also heard from someone who respects her that she was in coma.

I will not surrender because of that event, instead I tell myself to have the heart of a lion.

To people who prioritize thinking over feeling, if we must beg them, we must come up with  sound and thorough reasons / justifications.

To people who prioritize feeling over thinking, if we must beg them, we must appeal to their emotions.

I must be thick face enough not to care others’ opinions on me. Such a courage is built on humility and being relentlessly humble. I live my life to express my potentials, instead of impressing others.

After all, a role model especially in harmony and tranquillity aspects, Gautama Buddha accepted alms from people to survive.

Ask. Knock. Follow up. Beg.


On 20161118, I emailed to request for a refund that has been due for more than half-a-year, by (i) attaching a contract and past countless polite requests and (ii) demanding to meet the responsible people (见面三分情 [1]). The lessons [2] from this unpleasant experience are:

  1. avoid a large sum of advance payment if possible because advanced payments are not always honored by people, companies, suppliers, landlords. The savings may not worth the energy, time, and efforts chasing their failures to deliver their promises.  Little Princess’ maternal grandmother, formerly an entrepreneur, deduced that the company that I had been dealing with purposely delay the refund in a hope that customers will forget or be unable to seek for a refund (e.g. due to geographical constraints).
  2. consider alternatives. Instead of being tied by tenancy contracts that require a year of rental payment in advance, one can rent monthly or even daily and weekly.
  3. test first. I am grateful that, in 2016, my outpatient reimbursement claims to the company insurance provider have been paid in less than a month. While we do all we can to not misuse insurance, if finance is not a constraint, we have the rights and the responsibilities to choose our preferred medical providers with better skills and facilities, for ourselves and our loved ones.


[1] grep “20161123 lesson pte” ref2016*/*txt

[2] grep “20161121 lesson pte” ref2016*/*txt

One comment

  1. […] be thick face, junior researchers to ask senior researchers if you can assist in writing a survey/review paper. […]


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